Recently I have been shopping for new clothes as none of my former clothes fit me anymore. I had 20s (should have been 22s) through 16s in women sizes – meaning the at the 16W is about a regular 18 at a store like Old Navy or Nordstroms. I am now a true size 10 and a medium in dresses and tops…which is surreal to me. This is a great problem to have, but ultimately challenging for me. I have not really been out shopping for clothes in decades. I have just run into Lane Bryant, gotten whatever looked OK, and left. Usually in black or other dark colors, and I certainly did not linger trying lots of things on. The whole process was just mortifying because I felt so awful about how I looked.
I needed some clothes and went shopping. I kept snagging 12s and 14s thinking they would fit, and could not figure out what the issue was. Finally one of the staff came and looked and just left and returned with size 10s and mediums. I was so freaked out because I was sure they would not fit and I would be mortified. Again.
But they did fit – everything. AND – I already needed new underwear and bras, and I just swapped those out in April. So freaking weird. Not to anyone else, just me. I am down 75 pounds. I weigh 166 – just 16 pounds from my surgeon’s goal for me, and it is becoming apparent that I may be a size 6-8 at that weight, and very likely in some small tops. Kind of freaks me out.
Part of what I needed was a new bathing suit. I wound up buying a size 10 Badgely-Mishka to-die-for bathing suit. I am attaching a picture, just to be brave. And a cute little dress to wear to a graduation event. The dress is a medium from Express. Where normal people shop!!!!! Picture also attached.
As I was running around shopping, I almost walked into Lane Bryant – from habit……..it was such a defining moment for me. I will never shop there again. Ever.
And now – people who are meeting me for the first time have no idea that there is a former fat girl living inside of me. My outside is reflecting how I always knew I could be….and the hard work is paying off….so quickly! It has only been 4 1/2 months since my bariatric birthday – January 26, 2012. And I am healthy, active, compliant to my exercise and meal plan, and LOVING my life.
I have energy, sleep well, look great and am becoming a role model to others. I never feel depressed anymore, and I have none of the overt medical issues that I was literally carrying around with my obesity. I love it, and it feels so huge all at the same time.
I am still shocked regularly by how insensitive people can be. Most people are either genuinely interested in the path to my surgery and what has happened since, or just plain happy for me…but a smaller percentage will come right out and either say that I “cheated” or that I should have had more willpower and just dieted and exercised. Truly amazing what people think they have the right to say regarding other people’s health.
I am going back in to get my stress fracture checked out next week. I am hoping I can start running again…my weight loss has slowed down without it – even though I am weight training and walking, it;s not the same. You have to do cardio, and keep doing it to get the rest of the weight off. The surgery is not a magic pill….you have to use the tool and do the work yourself.
That’s it for now….stay tuned!!!